by Catriona Mills

Articles in “Strange Conversations”

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Sixty-Two

Posted 28 May 2011 in by Catriona

NICK: Who’s coming at two?
ME: I have a markers’ meeting today.
NICK: You did not tell me this. I don’t mind, but you didn’t tell me.
ME: I did, babe. I told you repeatedly.
NICK: I don’t recall that.
ME: That’s different from me not telling you.
NICK: Well, maybe.

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Sixty-One

Posted 25 May 2011 in by Catriona

While watching the Fifth Doctor story “Kinda”:

ME: Our reactions to this story rather sum up our different approaches to the genre.
NICK: Why?
ME: You said, “It’s anthropological science-fiction in the vein of Ursula Le Guin!”
NICK: And you said?
ME: I said, “Those aliens look a bit Welsh.”

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Sixty

Posted 20 May 2011 in by Catriona

ME: So there’s a rumour that River Song is Bernice Summerfield? Surely that makes no sense?
NICK: None whatsoever, even though Moffat’s a huge Cornell fan. And of course River Song bears some resemblance to Benny.
ME: Yes, in that she’s an archaeologist. But Bernice is in the Doctor’s past. She was a companion of the 7th and 8th Doctors.
NICK: Yeah. It’s more of an archetype thing there. It would be the kind of revelation that makes no sense to 99% of the audience.
ME: Oh, you mean like when the Master killed Rassilon with laser bolts from his hands and everyone said, “Who?”
NICK: Mmm, ok, make that 99.9999%.
ME: RTD was not afraid to bewilder 99% of the audience and drive the other 1% psychotic with fury.

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Fifty-Nine

Posted 18 May 2011 in by Catriona

While watching the Fifth Doctor adventure “Terminus”:

ME: This makes no sense.
NICK: I know! Giant space-ship with the power of time-travel?
ME: The Time Lords would have been all over that.
NICK: So much.

Then he explained how it was ret-conned in the novelisation.

Envy our lifestyle at your peril!

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Fifty-Eight

Posted 14 May 2011 in by Catriona

We only ever have these conversations during marking times.

ME: Could you put a pot of coffee on?
NICK: Now?
ME: I’m sorry that my demands are so intensely unreasonable.
NICK: I’m just building a bitching guitar solo.
ME: Really? I’m just building a bitching headache.
NICK: I’ll make some coffee.

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Fifty-Seven

Posted 10 May 2011 in by Catriona

ME: I mean, Lexx is existentialist German science-fiction. I had to warn them.
NICK: Existentialist German science-porn.
ME: It can’t be more pornographic than that Charlie Stross book.
(Enormous crashing sound, as of fifty baking trays falling to the floor.)
NICK: The what?
ME: The one where she’s a pleasure bot, but there aren’t any humans left?
NICK: Oh, the Charlie Stross book.
ME: Yes, that’s what I said.
NICK: There was this huge crashing sound, did you notice?
ME: Oh, was there?
NICK: It was a pretty obscure crashing sound. You probably haven’t heard of it.

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Fifty-Six

Posted 9 May 2011 in by Catriona

ME: Don’t panic. It’s just a guy being attacked by a moose. Wait, that’s not a moose. An elk?
NICK: That’s not a moose. This is a moose.
ME: You haven’t got a moose.
NICK: Oh, the disappointment!
ME: Well, you should have got a moose, shouldn’t you?

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Fifty-Five

Posted 8 May 2011 in by Catriona

NICK: If you would allow me to massage your shoulders, you wouldn’t get so many headaches.
ME: You know how I feel about massages. It’s basically asking strangers to touch you for money, and I don’t really do that.
NICK: Except this would be me.
ME: True, and you’re not a stranger, and you wouldn’t be doing it for money.
NICK: Oh, no. I’d still need to be paid.

Strange Conversations: The "My Mother" Edition

Posted 2 May 2011 in by Catriona

In which the Mills family complete a newspaper quiz and struggle over the question of what a “monjon” is.

MY MOTHER: I think I got “rock wallaby” right.
ME: You most certainly did not.
MY MOTHER: I said “an animal, like a walrus.” I mean, “W.” It’s close enough.

Categories

Blogroll

Recent comments

Monthly Archive

2012
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
2011
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
August
October
November
December
2010
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
October
December
2009
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
2008
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December