by Catriona Mills

Articles in “Strange Conversations”

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Twenty-One

Posted 22 September 2010 in by Catriona

In which we discuss why something I crave hasn’t yet been downloaded.

NICK: I’ve just turned the programme back on.
ME: Oh, so that’s why it’s taken twelve thousand years to download.
NICK: I respond to your demands for bandwidth!
ME: I don’t recall demanding bandwidth in the last week and a half.
NICK: I’m simply trying to be deciduous.
ME: Seriously?
NICK: Well, how do you pronounce that word?
ME: Assiduous?
NICK: No, it starts with a “j”.
ME: Judicious?
NICK: That’s it.
ME: “Deciduous” means you’ve shed all your leaves.
NICK: I know perfectly well what it means, thank you. I just don’t know how to pronounce it.

(Note: it has taken me twice as long as normal to type this, because I can’t stop laughing.)

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Twenty

Posted 18 September 2010 in by Catriona

House-cleaning strange conversation:

NICK: I found the bag that the bags go in.
ME: Good-oh. Pop it on that chair, would you? Because all the bags are on that chair, for reasons that escape me.
NICK: They escape everyone, Treena.
ME: They shouldn’t escape you, the architect of the reasons.
NICK: I think you’ve fallen into the authorial fallacy there.
ME: Don’t you “authorial fallacy” me!

The Blue Bowl: A Melodrama in One Act

Posted 11 September 2010 in by Catriona

Enter NICK, the hero.

NICK: Well, I have saved one of the big blue bowls from smashing.
ME: Oh, good.
NICK: Amazing reflexes. You should have seen me. I was incredible.

Tableaux.

Curtain falls.

Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Nineteen

Posted 5 September 2010 in by Catriona

Nick prepares for Father’s Day, for which he’d promised to do all the prep himself, since I’m marking:

ME: Can you give the bathroom benches a quick wipe over with the bathroom spray?
NICK: Already have.
ME: Really? I can’t smell the eucalyptus and mint.
NICK: Oh, I didn’t use the spray.
ME: Then what did you use?
NICK: I guess I can do that.
ME: But what did you use?!

I guess I’ll never know.

Categories

Blogroll

Recent comments

Monthly Archive

2012
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
2011
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
August
October
November
December
2010
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
October
December
2009
January
February
February
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
2008
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December