by Catriona Mills

Articles in “Strange Conversations”

Strange Conversations: Part Eight

Posted 29 April 2008 in by Catriona

Nick’s given up on making me stop posting these conversations, so I’m going to continue them as an ongoing series—because, frankly, Nick and living with Nick are hilarious things, and everyone should get to enjoy them.

This one took place after Nick came back from buying dinner and was getting changed.

ME: (swearing for some reason.)
NICK: Don’t swear.
ME: What?
NICK: Don’t swear.
ME: (unable to keep myself from smirking.)
NICK: I’m just saying.
(Pause)
NICK: Bugger, I can’t get my shirt off. Help! It’s stuck! (Ripping sound.)

I’d be lying if I didn’t say my next action was to laugh and laugh.

If it makes it better, he didn’t rip his shirt badly. I just liked the lack of association between his assumption of authority and his inability to remove a shirt.

And it takes a fair bit to make me laugh on a day when I’m once again regretting getting my belly button pierced in my distant, barely rebellious teens.

Strange Conversations: Part Seven

Posted 27 April 2008 in by Catriona

After a highly convivial Doctor Who night, Nick and I are both feeling a little tender. We were committed to another event today, but when we rang up to get directions we found that it had been cancelled.

So, with the unexpected gap in our schedules, Nick is planning on downloading more of the Sam and Max episodic video game, and I’m reading another Stephenie Meyer book.

(I should be finishing my marking, yes—but werewolves are more compelling right now.)

But the conviviality of last night might explain the following conversation, held while Nick was trying to put together a load of washing.

NICK: Once again, key T-shirts remain elusive.
ME: You just don’t have the skills. Treena has mad T-shirt-finding skillz. [Yes, I occasionally speak of myself in the third person. It’s perfectly normal. Shush.]
Pause
ME: I’m sadly domesticated. I don’t want mad T-shirt-finding skillz. I want mad ninja skillz.
NICK: Ah, well—you have to work for those.
ME: Hey! I worked for my T-shirt-finding skillz!

Still, you don’t get quite the same kudos for being able to regularly locate a Penny Arcade Photoshop Hero T-shirt as you do if you just flip out and kill people all the time, do you?

Strange Conversations: Part Six

Posted 24 April 2008 in by Catriona

I haven’t had time to update lately, because I’ve been buried under an enormous pile of assessment.

I did start a rambling post of snippets I’d found amusing over the years, but then forgot half the ones I’d wanted to write about.

I’ll finish that one soon.

But I did have this conversation with Nick this afternoon. (Nick, on that note, wants me to change the name of this blog to “Life with Nick,” but I think that’s a little narcissistic on his part.)

Ever since I read a newspaper article that defined Generation Y as people born between 1977 and 1992, I’ve been teasing Nick about being Gen-Y—while I, as the (slightly) older woman, get to be the much cooler Gen-X.

I was teasing him about this again today.

ME: Well, you’re Gen-Y, of course.
NICK: I’m not sure I accept that.
ME: Well, it said so in the paper—from 1977 on.
NICK: Yes, but these things tended to happen later in New Zealand.

I thought that was a clever comeback from someone who identifies his country as slightly delayed.

Strange Conversations: Part Five

Posted 22 April 2008 in by Catriona

A slightly cranky conversation (on my part), from which Nick emerges with the honours:

NICK (reading): You see, if you know a lot about the early history of Microsoft, you can kind of see the emaciated corpse of various early designs . . .
ME: Honestly, can we stop with the purple prose?
NICK: Well, I’m sorry, Mrs Pellucid.

(As a kind of payment for allowing me to blog this conversation, Nick has insisted that I add, as an addendum, the fact that I’ve just sat here muttering, “Shift button. Shift button. Do I have a shift button? Oh—it’s the one with ‘shift’ written on it.”

Evening Conversation with Nick

Posted 21 April 2008 in by Catriona

I’ve had a heavy marking load this past three days, as a result of taking a break from my work when family came to visit, so I was exhausted when Nick arrived home. Being the attentive partner that he is, he offered me a glass of wine.

NICK: I think you deserve a glass of the Semillon Chardonnay.
ME: Well, that and the fact the that the Semillon Chardonnay is the only screw-top bottle in the fridge.

There’s something to be said for a partner who considers your needs above his own convenience.

Mind, this Semillon Chardonnay is lovely.

Strange Conversations: Part Four

Posted 19 April 2008 in by Catriona

Happily watching a movie on a Saturday night, I ended up having the following conversation.

ME: Why are we watching this movie?
NICK: What?
ME: They just blew that guy up after chopping his arm off!
NICK: Well, they blew all the other guys up as well.

Somehow, I don’t find that an mitigating factor.

Strange Conversations: Part Three

Posted 9 April 2008 in by Catriona

After a frankly awful day (although I think my lecture did go quite well), I’ve just had the following conversation with Nick in the study.

NICK: Stop it!
ME: What?
NICK: You’re tickling me while I’m trying to lodge a support claim.
ME: What?
NICK: I’m trying to write a “please help me with my software” e-mail.
ME: Right. (Spots suspicious object) What’s that?
NICK: Nothing.
ME: What’s that?
NICK: It’s just a perfectly innocent chocolate bar!
ME: Where’s mine?
NICK: (long pause) Take it.
ME: Oddly enough, I don’t want your half-eaten Mars Bar.

While I don’t think either of us comes out of this conversation looking our best, I do think it’s rather a succinct account of the dynamics of our relationship.

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