Watching Euro 2012:

ME: I thought that was an extremely excited nun, but it was just a man in a black T-shirt standing in front of a man in a white shirt.
NICK: Little-known secret—that’s what most nuns are.

ME: Okay, it’s gone. I’m going to drink coffee now. And then mark many, many exam papers.
NICK: Coffee of kings!
ME: What? What of what?
NICK: You’re drinking the drink of champions this morning. You have sent off your final draft.
ME: It’s three-day-old coffee out of the fridge.
NICK: That too.

ME: Take your shoes off in the bedroom, please.
NICK: I know! I just like to be with you.
ME: You do not. You weren’t with me for the last hour, ever since we got home.
NICK: I know. But I wasn’t liking it.

Fretting about my father-in-law’s Christmas blanket (in progress):

ME: I’m not sure about this.
NICK: Treena, you’re on target.
ME: Are you going to make a Star Wars joke?
NICK: Turn off your targeting comp … no.