Strange Conversations: Part Two Hundred and Thirty-Three

Another instant-messaging conversation:

ME: I need coffee. Can you perfect your teleporting skills in the next five minutes? And teleport home? And make me coffee?
NICK: Pretty sure I can’t. Though I would dearly like to.
ME: Really? That’s pretty defeatist.
NICK: I know. I’ll try really hard for the next five minutes to do it.
ME: Excellent. And then at 2:25 pm I’ll make my own coffee, yeah?
NICK: Yes, I think you need to plan for the possibility that I won’t be able to manage it.
ME: Try some sparkling lights and some kind of bugle effect, so I’m not startled when you appear behind me.
NICK: Oh, OK.
ME: Well, I’m just saying.