Strange Conversations: Part Three Hundred and Ninety-Nine
Posted 21 September 2011 in Strange Conversations by Catriona
ME: I still need to make a birthday cake tonight. And this living room is not fit for human habitation. Or non-human habitation.
NICK: What kind of non-humans do you mean?
ME: What d’you mean?
NICK: Well, Cybermen wouldn’t care, for example.
ME: I don’t know about that. Have you ever seen a cluttered Cybership?
NICK: But they’re not emotional. So they’d just say, “This is cluttered” and not think about it any more.
ME: I’d be really hurt if a Cyberman came into my house and said, “This is cluttered.”
NICK: The thing to remember is that they’re not emotional, but they’re also not very tactful.
Share your thoughts [17]
1
Tim wrote at Sep 21, 08:42 am
Cybermen might not care emotionally, but they’d probably say ‘Clutter is inefficient.’ Not to mention, ‘This analog data storage will be converted’ and destructively uploading your books.
2
Drew wrote at Sep 21, 08:43 am
Actually, what they’d be more likely to say is:
“This is cluttered, you have memorabelia from the Doctor, you will tell us where he is or we will DELETE you, DELETE DELETE DELETE.”
Then while you panicked, they’d DELETE Nick, steal his new pencils and scarper out the back door. Yes, I am sure that’s how it’d go.
3
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 08:54 am
What would Cybermen use Nick’s new pencils for? Wouldn’t they have fancy new Cyber-pencils?
Also, any Cyberman who touches my books will feel the wrong end of a gold-plated badge for mathematical excellence.
4
Drew wrote at Sep 21, 08:58 am
but you’re crap at Maths. A gold-plated badge for nineteenth century literary excellence more like. I wonder where they give those out? The Library? North-Western Hemisphere wing perhaps?
5
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 09:04 am
I’m not going into that Library. Have you seen what happens in that place?
Plus, I didn’t say it was my badge for mathematical excellence. How do you know I haven’t been randomly robbing the dead of their most treasured items, in case those items help me fight off a cyborg invasion of my bookshelves? It’s possible.
6
Tim wrote at Sep 21, 09:44 am
Are you saying you’re the sort of person who would go into abandoned caves and crypts in search of valuable artefacts?
7
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 09:55 am
More the sort of person who ends up in cemeteries with a shovel …
8
Drew wrote at Sep 21, 10:16 am
useful things shovels, especially if the dead aren’t quite … you know, dead.
9
Tim wrote at Sep 21, 10:40 am
The sort of person who would go around with a sword in each hand, I mean.
10
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 10:41 am
Moderately less useful than a machete (for dealing with the undead, that is. A machete’s rubbish for digging up a grave) but much, much more useful than, say, a whisk (which is also less than useful as a means of disinterring buried treasure).
11
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 12:38 pm
That would be pretty awesome, being the kind of person who went around with a sword in each hand …
;)
12
Drew wrote at Sep 21, 03:15 pm
She who lives by the sword….
13
Catriona wrote at Sep 21, 08:50 pm
What about she who lives by the largely imaginary sword?
14
Deb wrote at Sep 22, 04:00 am
I’m still trying to picture a Cyberman “scarper“ing, they don’t seem built for it methinks.
15
Drew wrote at Sep 22, 09:45 am
well, there would be some clanking involved, possibly the dropping of a pencil or two.
16
Deb wrote at Sep 22, 11:23 pm
I can see a trip and a domino-like falling of the whole team/group/unit. What is the collective noun for Cybermen?
17
Drew wrote at Sep 23, 09:36 pm
A Deletion of Cybermen?