by Catriona Mills

My Elf's Adventuring Days Are Over

Posted 17 September 2008 in by Catriona

When your character reaches level eleven in Dungeons and Dragons: Tiny Adventures they face mandatory retirement. (Irritatingly, I didn’t even find out whether she’d succeeded in her last adventure.)

So Saeana’s adventuring days are over. Never again will she inappropriately seduce people in the middle of a fight scene, join a short line of adventurers waiting to enter a castle, or find herself inexplicably in the middle of a Robert Frost poem.

Of course, I have another adventurer, now: Paks, a Half-Elf Paladin. Paks is named after the only other paladin who came to mind: Paksennarion, from Elizabeth Moon’s The Deed of Paksennarion, who I really enjoyed as a character. Of course, Paks is a woman, but I figured that Paks really was a non-gendered name.

And the awesome thing about Paks is that I’m allowed to save one item of Saeana’s inventory to carry over to my new hero: I chose my Vorpal Greatsword. (I don’t know whether I should favour the Vorpal Greatsword because of “Jabberwocky” or because of the Homelands story arc in Fables. Maybe both.)

How could you turn down a Vorpal Greatsword? Saeana never used it, because it is a two-handed weapon, and I was addicted to the combination of my Phasing Short Sword and my Thundering Mace. But I couldn’t bring myself to sell it—and now my Paladin can wield it.

It also gives me a chance to be scornful, when he picks up the rewards suitable to a level one adventurer: “Battleaxe, huh? +1 to Attack? Ha!”

Paks seems to be settling in quite nicely, so far. Of course, he’s only midway through his third encounter, but he’s succeeded in everything he tried to date.

But I’m wondering if he’s going to behave the same way as Saeana did. I know paladins aren’t celibate figures like monks, but they are holy warriors.

I don’t think they should seduce halflings in hot-tubs.

I don’t think they should fight the palace guard in order to defend the succubus that they fancy.

I really don’t think they should seduce and then stab tiefling warlocks, no matter how desperate they are to prevent the coming apocalypse.

I don’t know that Paks is as susceptible as Saeana—but I’ll be keeping an eye on him. Sooner or later, I’m bound to come up with at least one adventurer who knows how to keep their mind on the job.

Share your thoughts [2]

1

Leigh wrote at Sep 18, 12:26 am

Hehehe, while i was reading this “did you ever know that your my HERO” kept playing in my head.

Frankly i just dont think that they have the right criteria for being a super hero, what about your gigantic brain? or the way you can talk peons into a corner? or the fact that you are faster than any superhero i know when running from a Catherine wheel? I think you’d be an awesome super hero, conquering bad grammar in the blink of an eye!!!!

2

Catriona wrote at Sep 18, 04:17 am

See, this is the problem with someone who has known you for nearly twenty-seven years commenting on your blog: sooner or later, without any real justification at all, they’re going to bring up the time you ran, in self defense, from a Catherine wheel that had been inadequately nailed to a tree and that was coming right at you no matter where you ran.

Then you can bring up the time they ran away from all those chickens.

I have to say, though, I can’t conquer bad grammar in the blink of an eye. I can conquer bad grammar maybe 98% of the time (or is that self-aggrandising?) after a quiet sit down and a flip through The Little, Brown Handbook.

Not really a super-power.

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