Insanely Creepy Song Lyrics

(Technically, this qualifies as reading, since this is about the lyrics. Plus, I haven’t posted anything about reading in ages, and this is, after all, called Circulating Library.)

I’m constantly amazed by the frequency with which people play “Every Breath You Take” at weddings despite the fact that it is, frankly, an insanely creepy song.

Apparently—and I’m quoting from the Wikipedia page here, so take that as you will—the song was written during the collapse of Sting’s first marriage, and in his words “It sounds like a comforting love song. I didn’t realise at the time how sinister it is. I think I was thinking of Big Brother, surveillance and control. These were the Reagan, Star Wars years.”

If even Sting thinks it sounds sinister, who am I (Leavisite or not) to argue with that?

(Also, it’s clearly creepy.)

But I was listening to my Bon Jovi album tonight (yes, it’s a best-of compilation. Shush.) and I came across a song.

I don’t know the title, because the album cover was lost many years ago in an evening of drunken CD playing, and I can’t remember most of the song titles any more. I suspect it’s called “I’ll Be There For You,” but I can’t be bothered looking it up.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that it included the line “When you breathe, I want to be the air for you.”

Is it just me, or is that also ridiculously creepy?

My general response to that would be something along the lines of “Wow. That’s . . . wow. No, no, honey—I mean that in a good way. I . . . wow. No—stay over there. I find that remaining on opposite sides of the room at all times is actually good for a relationship.”

Perhaps I’m over-sensitive, but these don’t strike me as love songs.

Maybe my standards are skewed.