Brief, Surreal, and Pointless Update
Posted 28 January 2009 in Life, the Universe, and Everything by Catriona
I’m still working on the corrections (but I think I’ve managed to make the weakest section work with the whole argument now, so I’m happy), but I do want to mention something odd.
I have a fabulous pair of tweezers. That’s not odd in and of itself, of course. Everyone needs a good pair of tweezers.
I also have an inadequate pair of tweezers, which I’ve never bothered throwing out.
I noticed this morning that my fabulous tweezers have disappeared from their accustomed place on the bathroom shelf. That’s also not that odd: tweezers have a tendency to wander around the house and bathroom.
But in their place is a pair of tweezers I’ve never seen before in my life.
Now, that is odd. Nick, surely, is not the type to buy a new pair of tweezers. So where did this new pair come from? Why do I now have two pairs of inadequate tweezers instead of one inadequate and one fabulous pair?
Why is life so frequently surreal?
Or do I simply need to sleep more, get out in the fresh air occasionally, and stop drinking so much coffee?
(And find my tweezers.)
Share your thoughts [24]
1
Wendy wrote at Jan 28, 08:25 am
Oh my…Last week I bought a new pair of tweezers. They are hopeless.
You wouldn’t think it would be so difficult to make a good pair of tweezers. They’re not complicated.
They just don’t make tweezers like they used to do they?
Why is life frequently surreal?
Just to freak us out.
2
Catriona wrote at Jan 28, 08:52 am
I know! Why can’t they make tweezers that actually, you know, tweeze? And you can’t tell how good they’ll be when they’re all packaged up in hard plastic, either. It’s distorting.
Still, I suppose that if life weren’t frequently surreal, we wouldn’t have Surrealism.
3
Leigh wrote at Jan 28, 09:56 am
At least you you can say “I once had a fabulous pair of tweezers”, its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I have never had a fabulous pair of tweezers and have brought many a crappy pair.
4
Catriona wrote at Jan 28, 10:11 am
‘Tis not better to have loved and lost my tweezers! My tweezers were the great love of my life—we had a transcendent love, a love for the ages, a love of which the poets sang, a love that needs some other cliches that I can’t recall right now.
I’m waiting for Nick to notice that I’ve devoted an entire blog post to my tweezers, tell me I’m over-sharing, and hopefully offer some suggestion about where my fabulous tweezers went.
5
Nick Caldwell wrote at Jan 28, 01:05 pm
No idea, sorry. Probably stolen by the geckoes.
6
Catriona wrote at Jan 28, 01:10 pm
Well, if you don’t know, the whole thing just became genuinely surreal. What would the geckoes want with my tweezers?
Oh my god: do you think they’re developed opposable thumbs? We won’t be safe in our own house!
7
michelle wrote at Jan 28, 09:49 pm
Do you think the geckos will come and tweeze you to death? Ha. Maybe they just want to torture the scrub turkeys.
Believe me, I understand the importance of good tweezers, rather than the kind that do multiple demonstration circuits before they actually grasp the hair.
I was astonished to see, at David Jones recently, tweezers that are apparently very good—they would want to be, since they cost $30!
Good luck, and may the prodigal tweezers return soon.
8
Catriona wrote at Jan 28, 09:56 pm
Who knows what atrocities geckoes with opposable thumbs and a really fabulous pair of tweezers might achieve?
I wonder if your chances of getting a good pair of tweezers are higher if you buy them at David Jones for $30 instead of, say, Woolies for $4.95?
9
John wrote at Jan 29, 02:29 am
Do you think the geckoes need to change the DIP switch settings on their main-boards?
I mean, that’s what tweezers are for, isn’t it?
10
Lisa wrote at Jan 30, 02:18 am
Also good for getting a grasp on recalcitrant memory sims (provided you are careful and watch where you grab) and for picking up those little buggers of screws that you drop down inside the case.
Your talk of fabulous tweezers and inadequate tweezers reminds me of a “Late Show” sketch about the ‘good’ scissors. If there are ‘good’ scissors, that implies that somewhere there lurks the ‘bad’ scissors.
11
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 02:26 am
Ooh, I remember that skit! That was hilarious.
My other tweezers aren’t evil, just inadequate. And I don’t know where they ended up—I’m sure Nick hasn’t been using them for computer maintenance, because he hasn’t been doing any computer maintenance.
12
heretic wrote at Jan 30, 03:17 am
I’d be checking to see if the water dragons are suspciously well groomed all of a sudden…
13
Tim wrote at Jan 30, 03:25 am
It seems obvious that you are witnessing the spread of some sort of tweezer inadequacy virus. Or possibly tweezer vampirism.
14
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 03:30 am
No!
You mean one of the inadequate pairs might be the lifeless, useless shell of my formally fabulous tweezers?
No!
15
Tim wrote at Jan 30, 04:07 am
Yes. Well, not useless. And perhaps a debased mutation rather than a lifeless shell. But pretty much.
16
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 04:34 am
. . . Wow.
. . . No, seriously. Wow.You know what this means? If I go into the bathroom sometime in the next week and find three pairs of tweezers, I am going to completely freak out.
I shall be the first person to suffer a tweezer-induced psychotic episode.
17
Tim wrote at Jan 30, 05:02 am
If the third pair is the original fabulous pair, then there’ll be no need to freak out — you’ve probably witnessed something much simpler, such as a time-jumping tweezer pair.
18
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 05:14 am
But if third isn’t the original fabulous pair, then I’ll know they’re breeding.
Or colonising.
19
Tim wrote at Jan 30, 05:35 am
Yes.
20
Wendy wrote at Jan 30, 07:22 am
are you having difficulty with any other utensils, metal implements etc? it could be bigger than just the tweezers you know. they could just be the beginning….
21
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 07:43 am
Oh. My. God.
I lost my cheeser slicer! A couple of months ago! You know, the ones you draw flat across the surface of softer cheeses like Edam?
I bought one, used it once, and then it was completely missing next time we bought Jarlsberg—we turned the whole house upside down looking for it!
Now, what could some dedicated geckoes do with a fabulous pair of tweezers and a seldom-used cheese slicer?
22
Wendy wrote at Jan 30, 07:57 am
i shudder to think! i would be keeping a close eye on the kitchen tongs if i were you. and sleeping with one eye open….who knows what those geckoes get up to in the wee small hours.
23
Tim wrote at Jan 30, 08:01 am
I shudder to think.
24
Catriona wrote at Jan 30, 08:12 am
Okay, now I’m getting worried. I always figured that the only thing they did when we’re asleep was to dance in and out of the cutlery drawers to give me incipient germophobia and dishpan hands. But now I’m not so sure . . .