Strange Conversations: Part Two Hundred and Five

NICK: Are you sure you’ll be all right on your own for four days?
ME: Oh, I would think so. Unless I’m attacked by a vampire. And even then I’ll probably last four days.
NICK: And then I’ll come in and save you! With my stake held high!
ME: Oh, yes. Because that’s just the sort of thing that appeals to me, the feminist.
NICK: If you were attacked by a vampire, you’d be pretty happy to see me and my stake.
ME: Honey, if I was attacked by a vampire, I’d be pretty happy to see anyone with a stake. It wouldn’t have to be you.
NICK: But it would most likely be me. I have the knowledge.
ME: No, you don’t.
NICK: I do!
ME: You don’t. And you don’t have a stake, either.
NICK: No. No, I don’t. But I could fashion one, out of . . . I don’t know.
ME: Wood?
NICK: Possibly.