Kitchen Nightmares (That Don't Involve Gordon Ramsey)
Posted 3 July 2008 in Life, the Universe, and Everything by Catriona
I’ve just been faffing around, quickly tidying over the surfaces of a generally clean house before my father-in-law comes around for dinner.
So I was dashing through the kitchen with an armload of clean washing, and I gave an open drawer a quick push to shut it as I passed.
Behind me, a tinny little voice from the closing drawer shouted “Exterminate!”
It was a full ten seconds before I realised the talking Dalek bottle opener must have fallen into something metal and activated itself.
There’s a lesson in this: if something scared you senseless as a child, don’t buy a talking version of it as a kitchen implement, no matter how cool it makes you look at parties.
Share your thoughts [8]
1
heretic wrote at Jul 4, 01:15 am
The thing is, drawers shouting “exterminate” would not come as a great surprise in any house inhabited by a Nick… :)
2
Catriona wrote at Jul 4, 03:27 am
You’d think that, wouldn’t you? But, in fact, it was not only a surprise but a nasty one for that ten-second period in which I made my peace with a benevolent universe.
3
Leigh wrote at Jul 5, 08:27 am
But also seeing that you said a tiny voice said ‘exterminate’ maybe it was a mini Dalek and then you could have just stomped on it.
4
Catriona wrote at Jul 5, 08:43 am
Well, I actually said “tinny little voice” rather than “tiny”—are you reading this on your Blackberry?—but seeing as it was in a drawer, it would have to be fairly small. Still, I’m not sure I’d trust an extremely small Dalek any more than I’d trust, say, a Dalek buried under a pile of rubble. I’d still be fleeing.
5
Leigh wrote at Jul 6, 12:18 am
That will teach me for reading on my blackberry while swinging the children at the par and trying to convince Jack that his teeth are meant to stay in his head all at once :)
6
Catriona wrote at Jul 6, 01:00 am
I thought you’d been reading it on the Blackberry! It’s that tiny little screen. Join us on the light side—buy your Mac already!
7
Tim wrote at Jul 6, 06:40 am
… swinging the children at the par …
Is that a typo for ‘park’ or a typo for ‘bar’?
;)
8
Catriona wrote at Jul 6, 07:07 am
It’s the curse of the tiny Blackberry screen again. I’m fairly certain she’s not taking my nephews to a pub. Fairly certain. (Joking! Honest!)
So I’d say “park.”
Could be a golf course, though. But I think you’re more likely to get par with a proper club. Toddlers are too bendy.