Oh, you better believe I’ve been saving these up. Today is the tenth anniversary of my first date with Nick, and I think these conversations sum the last decade (decade? Man, I’m old) up nicely:
NICK: The thing I was going to say that turned out to be not very interesting? I’m going to say it anyway. Big Helga is not that bad a beer if you chill it correctly.
ME: Okay. Why did you take your pants off in the middle of that sentence?
NICK: Oh, these things happen.
NICK (singing, to the tune of “Sailing”): I am serving. I am seeeeeerving! The dinner. In little bowls. It is quite tasty. I think you’ll like it . . .
ME: Oh, yes.
ME (reading from Wikipedia): The Coliseum was used as the backdrop for a fight between jumpers and paladins in Jumper?
NICK: Was it?
ME: There were paladins in that film? What kind of film is that?
NICK: Well, they weren’t the good kind of paladin.
ME (in increasing confusion): There are bad paladins?
NICK: The non-D&D kind.
ME: No, that’s not fair. Paks wasn’t a D&D paladin, and she kicked arse.
NICK: True. And the Brotherhood of Steel paladins are pretty awesome.
ME: See, “paladin” pretty much defaults to “awesome.”
NICK: Except in a film starring Hayden Christensen.
ME: Now, that explains it.
ME (struggling with the existential horror that is Social City): I can’t make my people happy. Why won’t they just be happy?
NICK: The game is designed to frustrate you and make you anxious.
ME: Me personally?
NICK: You and people like you.
ME: You mean lovely people?
NICK: That’s exactly what I meant.